im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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