yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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