is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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