i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
