I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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