In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
