Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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