he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize