Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
