I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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