i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She announced her abortion via fbk
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize