I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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