I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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