that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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