So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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