sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
