It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This is the high leading the old right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
