those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
