i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
