I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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