I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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