At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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