Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
