Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
