you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
