the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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