grandma shit on top of the toilet
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
