In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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