Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
