how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
