Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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