This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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