I think I won the penis lottery.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
