I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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