I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
