addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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