Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What drink are we having for lunch?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
40s are totally the cure
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
