We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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