So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I would ride that face into the sunset
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
