My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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