don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
