Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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