Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
