they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
