Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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