At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
