Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
