I've blown a few things in my day
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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