So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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