I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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