hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
