There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
