so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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