too bad you live with your parents still
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont even know how to be here
We talked him into tasing himself.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
