these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
