i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
