Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize