i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
