i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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