Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
