does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
