I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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